My time in London was terrible everyone I held dearest to me had died from either cholera, typhoid of typhus. All I was ever taught was work work work and I despised it. One day while I was strolling to work I noticed a poster advertising a place called New Zealand it said New Zealand a new beginning meet at the ship dock tomorrow if you would like a new beginning with better education and more job opportunity's I decided I would go. the next day when I got to the dock there was a person in front of a humungous ship he was waiting for the fellow people who wanted to go to New Zealand. When we got on the boat it started to move I was kinda sad at first because I was leaving my home the place I was raised my native land but I was excited I was about to have a new beginning I think it took about maybe 75 to 120 days to get there. while we were on the boat we played games and looked at the aquatic view.
When we eventually got to New Zealand all I saw was mountains and a path so I followed it. Not too long after we saw a small city that helped us out with housing I was shocked when I saw the houses because the houses back in London there was barely any room to even stand live but here there was loads of room in the houses additionally it kinda smelt fresher because it was less polluted.
Hi Luke. I found your story really interesting but there were some punctuation (capital letters,full stops,etc) and maybe you could go more in depth about the boat ride. I did like how you talked about what England was like and what made your character actually make the move to New Zealand. Great job!
ReplyDelete- Molly